DREAMS DO COME TRUE

I saw him walking toward me. At first, I honestly thought I could be hallucinating. I have been in love with this man for more years than I can even remember.
I walked up to him and his wife. Hi, I said. Can I bother you for a minute? They were used to people stopping them. I have been in love with you for years and I swore to myself that if I was ever lucky enough to meet you that we would swap spit. That got his attention. He smiled at me. I looked at his wife and said, With your permission I’d like to ask your husband to kiss me.
She looked up at her husband and said, Why Not!
He asked me my name. I told him. He said, Betty, what if it isn’t what you expect?
Believe me, I know it will be, I’ve got all of the confidence in the world in you. He had a huge grin on his face. I’ve been asked a lot of things but this takes the cake.
Well to be honest, I’m just a country girl without a lot of experience. Besides your wife you have kissed some beautiful women so I expect you to be more disappointed than I will be.
He was really smiling, I’ll take my chances he said.
There on one of the busiest streets in Aspen, Colorado, Sam Elliott gave me the kiss of a lifetime. When he lifted his lips he said, you did a great job.
I said, I always knew you were a gentleman.
His wife, asked, would you like to join us for lunch?
I answered, I have to think of a way to prove to myself I’m still alive because I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven.
Then I woke up!

By B. O’Neal

WHISKEY RIVER WYOMING

Elrod lived in a small western town in 1736. He loved to drink whiskey and ride his horse. Sometimes the two did not go well together. It was a Sunday afternoon and Elrod had left the bar and headed across the dirt street to climb aboard his horse. Everyone thought he needed assistance because he was staggering as he left the walkway.
As he made his way to the center of the street a stagecoach went flying past him. He staggered back and his legs looked like elasticbungee cords as he narrowly missed being run over. He yelled obscenities at the driver then made his way across to the other side. What he didn’t realize he was turned around and was headed back into the bar.
As he stepped inside a gentleman wearing a black suit with tails and top hat took Elrod by the arm spun him around and aimed him toward the center of the street. Elrod looked at the man and said “you look like a penguin.” The gentleman said nothing but gave Elrod a slight nudge toward his horse across the street.
Elrod finally made it to his horse and climbed aboard. He placed his feet in the stirrups settled into the saddle and started to sing a rendition of Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush. The town folk saw Elrod sitting on his horse singing and they started to laugh at such a sight. Elrod stopped singing and started to complain. He wanted to know who chopped his horses head off. He was sitting on the horse backwards. This story is a tall tail or should I say a horse’s patoot.

by T. Waddle