Eighth Annual Clarksville Writers Conference
June 7 – 8, 2012
Historic Clarksville, Tennessee – Tennessee’s Fifth Largest City

• Two days of excellent writing workshops and presentations, including lunches
• A banquet with keynote speaker, Pulitzer Prize-winning author Alex S. Jones, with an authors’ reception and signing
• Free consultations with two literary agents for presentation attendees

The conference is presented on the third floor of Austin Peay State University’s Morgan University Center and at the Clarksville Country Club.  Other authors include Poet Amanda Auchter, Young Adult author Tracy Barrett, Kevin McQueen, author of true crime and mystery and many others.  Check out their website for more information – Clarksville Writers Conference

Prompt
This week we will continue to work on character development. Find a picture of a person that you don’t know. You can get them from a magazine or newspaper or where ever. Create a character for that picture. Tell us who they are, what they look like, how old they are, what they do for a living, or what they do in their spare time. You decide who they are and what their life is all about and tell us. Happy writing!!

FIVE WORDS
Create a short story using these five words:
Plastic, personal, weekly, savory, possum
HAVE FUN!

A random sampling of coworkers gave me this list of current books on nightstands:

• The Wind Through the Keyhole by Stephen King
• Thunder Heights by Phyllis Whitney
• The Cove by Ron Rash
• There Is No Dog by Meg Rosoff
• Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed
• Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore
• Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

Me? I always have one book that I read only at night before I fall asleep. Right now, I’m reading Cat’s Claw by Susan Wittig Albert; it’s one of her Pecan Springs mysteries.

And you? What’s on your nightstand?

This is an excellent book about acceptance and being yourself. The light-hearted story-telling style teaches without preaching and makes the piggy characters real and relatable. This is a story every child should read.

Since the last lesson I took in my Private Investigator class was developing observation skills, I decided to put mine to use! I picked a busy public place that had a building and parking as my test area. I decided to sit in my car and pretend to read a book while wearing sunglasses.

For a while, I just watched people park their cars and walk to and from the building. To keep myself from sleeping, I tried to guess if the person would 1) quickly start the car 2) check their mobile device or c) put on lipstick. Most people checked their phones or fiddled with the radio. It is always interesting to watch people park their cars; some hastily turn into a spot while slowly pull in, then out, then in and still never seem to get parked between the two lines. Ah, better luck next time, right?!

Eventually one subject caught my eye because she exhibited fidgety behavior, pacing back and forth by the doors. Occasionally, she would stop to look at a flyer, but I could tell her attention and focus were elsewhere. While she never noticed me, I could not stop looking at her, trying to figure out what was making her jumpy. Others who passed her did not take a second glance.

Eventually, she connected with the people who must have been preoccupying her thoughts, their interaction was brief and then she walked to her truck and left the parking lot.

This exercise made me realize that I catch myself unnecessarily worrying about what others think as I’m piling items in my grocery cart or working out at the gym. Unless there is someone practicing their private investigation skills, no one is probably as concerned about me as I am myself.

As previously noted in my Universal Class course, being a private investigator requires patience and persistence. If I had to spend the afternoon sitting in my car, waiting to observe my subject, I might become the fidgety one. Upcoming lessons include Internet searching, public records and background checks, so if those topics pique your interest, you might look forward to my next couple of posts.

As always, you can choose from hundreds of classes offered by Universal Class. It is free and easy to sign up – simply search for Universal Class on our database page and follow the instructions. If you need help, call us or stop by the library for a visit.

Mango is an online language learning system that teaches real conversation skills for practical communication.  Available on the library’s website,  Mango offers  49 language experiences including Spanish, Italian, and German and  15 English as a Second Language ( ESL) lessons with  different levels of fluency.  The basic level offers lessons for common  and practical phrases that can be learned over a few short hours.  The more advanced level offers more in-depth lessons in language and grammar skills.

Mango uses the Google translation engine to translate phrases or conversations from one language to another.

You can access  Mango Languages on Clermont County Public Library’s website by going to  www.clermontlibrary.org and click on Research and Homework then click on Databases,   All you need is a computer and a library card.

Type Mango Languages in the search box  or scroll down the list  to Mango Languages.

Click on Access Database.  In Mango you have the option to create an account in order to track your progress or you can click on the Start Learning  button.    Choose the language you wish to learn and click on basic or in-depth lessons and you are on your way.

Be sure to check out our other language materials at the library.

Here’s a sampling of just a few of the things you will find at the Vintage Collections Super Sale:

Art Books – A large number of impressive, large format art books on many different popular and important artists.  Many of these books are in nearly new or “gift quality” condition.  Picasso, Van Gogh, and Gauguin are among the artists represented by multiple titles.

Classical Music – Over 150 classical music CDs.

Vintage Magazines and Newspapers – Thirty different 1930s issues of Popular Science.  Numerous back issues of Kentucky Explorer magazine, which features Kentucky history and genealogy.  The 100th Anniversary Edition of The Clermont Sun from 1928.

Comic Books – Some of the titles are quite offbeat, including an independent comic from 1986 titled Reagan’s Raiders, in which President Reagan becomes a superhero.

History Books – A large and diverse selection of books on American history.  The Civil War is particularly well-represented.

Late 1800s & Early 1900s Books – A large number of books from the late 1800s and early 1900s, encompassing many different genres and topics.  Young adult series novels of the period are well-represented.

Other categories of items that will be at the sale include: Animals & Plants; Cars, Trains & Transportation; Children’s; Cooking; Crafts, Design & Home Decor; Film & Television; Literature; Local History & Interest; Reference; Religion; Science & Nature; Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror; and Sports.

Now that I’m both a grownup AND working in a library I know that daydreaming is actually called speculating, and that these amazing books that tweak what we know of history are called Historical Revisionism. They’re part of a branch of fiction that focuses on what life would be like if just a few things were different, called Speculative Fiction. (Bear with me here, these terms I’m throwing around may sound fancy, but really they’re all just fiction at heart.) Think of some of your favorite books; maybe one where there are vampires living in Louisiana, or one where the South won the Civil War, or even one in which a dorky teenaged wizard battles for the fate of the world using a wooden stick and a scar. Speculative fiction at its best, baby.

I was so excited to see new books by two of my favorite revisionist authors on our New and Forthcoming List for March.

Seth Grahame-Smith is a master at changing how we look at history and the classics of literature. He helped us imagine what the world of Pride and Prejudice would be like if infested with zombies or if Abraham Lincoln really was a kick-butt vampire hunter. His newest book, Unholy Night, reimagines the tale of the Three Wise Men, casting them not as incense toting magicians on camels but as infamous thieves who stumble on that specific manger quite on accident. Shenanigans ensue as the unlikely group fights their way to Egypt, through historical figures and biblical myths alike. I CANNOT wait!

Christopher Moore is the is the sort of funny genius that we all secretly long to be. He takes the most ridiculously boring settings, say the court of King Lear or the missing years of Jesus’ early childhood, and turns them into the laugh-out-loud funny books that cause people to stare at you strangely in the waiting room at your dentist’s office. We just got our copy of his newest masterpiece, Sacre Bleu: A Comedy d’Art. When Vincent van Gogh ‘supposedly’ shoots himself, his friends Lucien Lessard and Henri Toulouse-Latrec set out on a quest to find to the truth through the brothels and bakeries of Paris. It has all of my favorite things; art, cognac, french bread and a very specific shade of blue. I mean bleu. Oh and cancan dancers, can’t forget those, love cancan dancers!

Prompt
Write a short story using one of the following prompts. Concentrate on the development of your character.
The perfect life
How many times have I said
Where have all the flowers gone?

FIVE WORDS
Create a short story using these five words:
Bedpost, margarine, financial, develop, cat
HAVE FUN!

I saw him walking toward me. At first, I honestly thought I could be hallucinating. I have been in love with this man for more years than I can even remember.
I walked up to him and his wife. Hi, I said. Can I bother you for a minute? They were used to people stopping them. I have been in love with you for years and I swore to myself that if I was ever lucky enough to meet you that we would swap spit. That got his attention. He smiled at me. I looked at his wife and said, With your permission I’d like to ask your husband to kiss me.
She looked up at her husband and said, Why Not!
He asked me my name. I told him. He said, Betty, what if it isn’t what you expect?
Believe me, I know it will be, I’ve got all of the confidence in the world in you. He had a huge grin on his face. I’ve been asked a lot of things but this takes the cake.
Well to be honest, I’m just a country girl without a lot of experience. Besides your wife you have kissed some beautiful women so I expect you to be more disappointed than I will be.
He was really smiling, I’ll take my chances he said.
There on one of the busiest streets in Aspen, Colorado, Sam Elliott gave me the kiss of a lifetime. When he lifted his lips he said, you did a great job.
I said, I always knew you were a gentleman.
His wife, asked, would you like to join us for lunch?
I answered, I have to think of a way to prove to myself I’m still alive because I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven.
Then I woke up!

By B. O’Neal

WHISKEY RIVER WYOMING

Elrod lived in a small western town in 1736. He loved to drink whiskey and ride his horse. Sometimes the two did not go well together. It was a Sunday afternoon and Elrod had left the bar and headed across the dirt street to climb aboard his horse. Everyone thought he needed assistance because he was staggering as he left the walkway.
As he made his way to the center of the street a stagecoach went flying past him. He staggered back and his legs looked like elasticbungee cords as he narrowly missed being run over. He yelled obscenities at the driver then made his way across to the other side. What he didn’t realize he was turned around and was headed back into the bar.
As he stepped inside a gentleman wearing a black suit with tails and top hat took Elrod by the arm spun him around and aimed him toward the center of the street. Elrod looked at the man and said “you look like a penguin.” The gentleman said nothing but gave Elrod a slight nudge toward his horse across the street.
Elrod finally made it to his horse and climbed aboard. He placed his feet in the stirrups settled into the saddle and started to sing a rendition of Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush. The town folk saw Elrod sitting on his horse singing and they started to laugh at such a sight. Elrod stopped singing and started to complain. He wanted to know who chopped his horses head off. He was sitting on the horse backwards. This story is a tall tail or should I say a horse’s patoot.

by T. Waddle